I wanted to share two more chapters of the book Created to Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl with you today. There were so many things to think about that I am afraid this post may be rather long. Bear with me because there are some really good things for you to think about.
*(A little P.S.) I would love for you to share your thoughts on the quotes and ideas listed in this post. My friend Sarah just left a comment, and I think she makes a valid point. So, check out the comments when you are finished reading this post and let me know what you think.
As always I have picked out text and scripture that I want to study further. If something is in quotes it has been directly taken from the book.
Chapters 1 & 2
Chapters 3 & 4
Chapters 5 & 6
Chapter 7-Wisdom: While There is Yet Hope
The first part of this chapter consisted of two letters written to Debi Pearl. The first was from a young woman who was complaining about things that her husband let their children watch on TV. In Debi’s response she painted a pretty sad picture of what this woman’s life might be like if she continues to be angry and disrespectful towards her husband.
Debi said, “The Devil would love to steal your children’s souls. He will not do it through your husband’s TV; he will do it through your dishonor.” Pretty strong words, but definitely something to think about.
The second letter was from a woman who had been divorced for 23 years. She said that it never crossed her mind that her husband would ever leave. She listed many things she would have done differently in her marriage. None of the things she listed were changes she wished her husband had made, but they were all changes she would have made in her own attitude towards her husband.
Debi said, “Divorce is never planned, but is almost always preceded by certain avoidable reactive behaviors and events. Don’t let it happen to you.”
“What is God’s perfect will for your life? To be a good help meet.”
- Philippians 2:5
- Proverbs 23:7
- Proverbs 4:23
- Luke 6:49
- 2 Timothy 1:7
- James 3:11
Make a New Habit
“Think of the thing that your husband does that irritates you the most. Now say to yourself, ‘I do not see the whole picture. I do not know what God is doing in my life or my husband’s life. My critical attitude is a far graver sin than his bad habits. I am guilty of blaspheming the written word of God when I do not love and obey my husband. Therefore, I am laying down my campaign against him concerning this issue and, as far as I am concerned, it is God’s business to direct my husband and convict him. I am trusting God.’ “
Chapter 8-Wisdom to Understand Your Man
- “Wisdom is knowing what you ‘bought’ when you married that man, and learning to adapt to him as he is, not as you want him to be.”
- “God gives imperfect women to imperfect men so they can be heirs together of the grace of life and become something more together than either of them could ever be alone.”
- James 3:1
- 1 Peter 3:1-2
- John 13:12
- Matthew 20:28
- Luke 22:24-27
- Hebrews 13:8
- Proverbs 20:5
- Romans 12:1-2
The next part of this chapter that I wanted to share with you deals with the three types of men that Debi and her daughter Rebekah wrote about.
Three Types of Men-”Keep in mind that most men are a little of all three types, but tend to be stronger in one.”
- Mr. Command Man
- Born leader.
- Often in a position in charge of others.
- Controlling by nature.
- Has a sense of responsibility to lead others.
- Takes charge.
- “When a Command Man (lost or saved) is treated with honor and reverence, a good help meet will find that her man will be wonderfully protective and supportive.”
2. Mr. Visionary
- Often gifted or an inventor.
- Challenge the status quo.
- Confrontational
- Might just pack up and move the family across the country.
- “Every Mr. Visionary needs a good, wise, prudent, stable wife who has a positive outlook on life.”
3. Mr. Steady
- “Of the three types this is the one who will be most liked by everyone.”
- Caring, faithful, providing.
- Avoids controversy.
- Doesn’t make quick decisions.
- Slow and cautious.
- “A bossy woman sees her husband’s lack of hasty judgment and calls her husband ‘wishy-washy.’ “
- “A steady man likes a woman to walk beside him, yet grow in her own right before God and him.”
“Ruination” Wife’s Summary
- “The wife of Mr. Command Man can ruin her marriage by failing to honor, obey and reverence her husband’s authority and rule.”
- “The wife of Mr. Visionary can ruin her marriage by failing to follow, believe and participate as an enthusiast in her husband’s dreams and visions.”
- “The wife of Mr. Steady can ruin her marriage by failing to appreciate, wait on, and be thankful for her husband’s pleasant qualities.”
Successful Wife’s Summary
- “The wife of Mr. Command Man can heal her marriage by becoming his adoring queen, honoring and obeying his every (reasonable and unreasonable) word. She will dress, act, and speak so as to bring him honor everywhere she goes.”
- “The wife of Mr. Visionary can heal her marriage by laying aside her own dreams and aspirations and embracing her role as help meet to her man, believing in him and being willing to follow him with joyful participation in the path he has chosen.”
- “The wife of Mr. Steady can heal her marriage by joyfully realizing what a friend, lover, and companion she has been given and living that gratitude verbally and actively. When she stops trying to change him, he will grow. She can, then, willingly take up tasks that will fill her time and give her husband joy and satisfaction as he sees her productiveness.”
Some of these ideas are so counter to our cultural beliefs that they can be hard pills to swallow. I want to honor my husband and I feel like I haven’t been doing a good enough job following God’s word with regards to being a good help meet. I pray that God will help me be the kind of wife my husband deserves.
I did want to say that I believe my husband has more traits of a “Command Man” than the other two types of men. Do you see your husband as being dominantly one of these types? The book provided very detailed descriptions of each type of man, but you will hopefully get the idea by what I have written.
