This morning I had a moment of clarity that allowed me to understand why my plans weren’t God’s plans for me this year. I realized that the proverbial “closed doors” I had faced recently were actually blessings in disguise.
Before I get too far, I guess I should back up just a bit. For those of you who may not know, I have 5 kids and I have been at home raising them for the past 14 years. Earlier this month all 5 of my kids started school, and I found myself alone for the first time in my 17 years as a mom.
And, by “alone for the first time” I mean just that. I have always had at least one child with me pretty much at all times, especially at home. I guess you could say I have taken my job as mom pretty seriously.
The Closed Doors
This past winter I had thought that if I was able to get a teaching job I wouldn’t have to face being by myself during the day, or to feel as though I wasn’t needed as much anymore.
However, the more I worked toward that goal the more it seemed to be just out of my reach. While I realized I wasn’t letting God be in control, I still had trouble dealing with the impending changes in my life.
Quite frankly I was scared.
God’s Ways Are Always Higher
Earlier this week Janna, my five year old, was sick and missed two days of school. If I had been working I would have either had to miss work, send her to school not feeling 100%, or see if my parents could watch her. Instead, because I didn’t get a job, I was able to spend those two days taking care of her.
I was beginning to understand God’s plan for me.
Yesterday morning my brother texted me and said that my sister-in-law was very sick. He asked if I could take my niece to school. It really was no problem because I already had to drop Julia off at the school my brother works at, so I could easily just pick my niece up and head to the her school since I had to take Joseph and Janna there anyway.
God seemed to be revealing a little more of His plan to me.
Then, this morning, after doing a repeat of yesterday morning, Julia called me from school, right after I had dropped of the little ones, and said that she forgot her iPad. She sounded pretty panicky, and I understood why. Her school iPad has her textbooks and assignments on it. This responsible girl of mine is a Senior this year and has never forgotten her iPad in all four years of high school.
What did I do? I hurried home, grabbed her iPad, and got it to her at school before she had to take a quiz. The relief I saw in her face and the thanks she expressed were worth the effort.
After that I stopped by my husband’s school and helped him by running a couple of errands.
When I was finally headed home, an hour after I had started that way the first time, I was struck by something.
God had revealed His plan for me.
His Plans Are Always Good
By nature, I am a helper, and I love to be needed.
I realized that, even though my kids are at school, I am still needed. I have a purpose.
From doing laundry to cooking meals to chauffeuring kids to and from practice to being there for my family when they need me, God has allowed me to be in the place I am needed most at just the right time.
This being only the third week of school I have a feeling that I have just begun to see what God’s plan for me is this school year.
So, while the old saying “When the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window.” isn’t actually in the Bible but from The Sound of Music, here is my take on it.
The closed doors we sometimes face are opportunities to trust God more, to let Him lead us on the path He has chosen, instead of us telling God what we want and expecting Him to give it to us.
The open windows are the times when He reveals a little of His plan to us. When we recognize the blessings of unanswered prayers and closed doors. When we trust in Him.
Today I am thankful for the closed doors.