When I was a new mom 12 years ago, I had never heard the term “attachment parenting“. I had read many magazines and books about caring for a newborn. While there was good information in all of them, there were some things that just seemed to go against my mommy instincts.
I wanted my baby to be close to me, even at night. My baby wanted to nurse all the time and didn’t seem to care if the books said she should eat on a schedule. I loved holding my baby and enjoyed using the sling my cousin let me borrow. I couldn’t bear the thought of making my baby cry alone in a crib just so I could get some sleep.
One day while I was searching online for some information about breastfeeding and using a ring sling, I stumbled upon information about attachment parenting.
Come to find out, I was instinctively using this style of parenting. I found out there were other parents were taking care of their babies in a way that seemed natural to me. It made me feel more confident in the choices I was making.
If you have never heard about attachment parenting you may be wondering what it is.
According to Dr. Sears, attachment parenting has 7 Baby B’s.
1. Birth Bonding
2. Breastfeeding
3. Babywearing
4. Bedding Close to Baby
5. Belief in the language value of your baby’s cry.
6. Beware of Baby Trainers
7. Balance
On his site, Dr. Sears also shares information about what attachment parenting is not and what attachment parenting means. I definitely suggest you check out all of the links I have provided to get a better understanding of what attachment parenting means.
However, I will give you my short definition of attachment parenting:
Keeping baby close so that I am better able to instinctively respond to her needs.
How do I do this? By being a breastfeeding, babywearing, co-sleeping, non-CIO (cry it out) momma.
When my first baby was 5 months old I had to go back to my teaching position. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.
I was still able to make this style of parenting work because I continued to breastfeed (I went on my lunch hour to nurse her), we practiced co-sleeping, and I still wore my baby and held her often.
While it wasn’t ideal, and I feel blessed to have been able to be home with my other 4 babies, I was able to make attachment parenting work while I was teaching.
In case you are someone who didn’t/doesn’t practice this style of parenting, please know that I do not think you are less of a parent than I am. I have plenty of friends who did not breastfeed or practice babywearing, and I don’t think they are worse parents than I am.
I am not a perfect parent. I make mistakes. But, I love my children so much.
My goal is to parent in such a way so that I will not look back with regrets some day.
You will never hear me say, “I wish I would have held my baby more.” or “I wish I would have let my baby cry it out in their crib.” or “I wish I would have given breastfeeding a try.”
My advice: No matter what “style” of parenting you choose, love your children unconditionally. They won’t be little for long.
Do/did you practice attachment parenting?