Today I am going to start sharing from part two of Created to Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl. I have really enjoyed going back over this book and posting key scripture and text. It has really been a great way to make sure I didn’t miss anything when I read the book the first time.
Part two is called “8 Practical Rules”. These rules come from Titus 2:3-5.
3The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Wouldn’t it be great if all wives would do the things in this passage? Unfortunately, this isn’t the case. I wanted to share a few things that have been told to me over the years by women who should have taken their roles as mentors seriously.
One older woman told me, on more than one occasion, that “the kids have moved out and the dog has died. My life has begun.” I really found that to be sad because I feel like I am already living my life. I am not waiting for my kids to move out to have a life. God has given me a clear cut task in those verses above and I am sure not going to miss the opportunity to follow His Word. I didn’t have the guts to say anything to this woman at the time, but if it is said to me again I need to be bold enough to share God’s Word with her.
The other scenario happened when I just had one child. An older Christian woman told me that if a couple never fights it means that someone isn’t happy and is just not letting the other person know. This woman made it seem like fighting was a part of marriage. I told her that my husband and I didn’t fight, but would sometimes disagree.
After reading this book I am more aware that happiness is a choice. My husband may not always make decisions that make me happy, but I am sure I have made decisions that didn’t make him happy either. If I had taken the advice of this twice divorced woman I would hate to see what shambles my marriage would be in. I am married to a man who has flaws. However, I am choosing to be happy. I am choosing to not point out all of his flaws. I am choosing to pray for him. I am choosing to love him just the way he is. (By the way, I think he is pretty wonderful.)
Does this make me a door mat? I don’t think so. It takes more “guts” to follow the guidelines in this book and the Bible than to live the way the rest of the world does. I used to be known as quite the feminist. I am not sure anyone would think that now, especially after reading all of the posts on this topic. However, I believe that women can be empowered more by following God’s word than by following the “world”.
Chapter 15-To Be Sober
- “When a woman soberly considers the needs, time schedule, and resources of her home, then she will be a more efficient help meet.”
- “It is not a grouchy old husband or bad days that cause the problems of cooking or cleaning for young wives. It is the lack of simple planning.”
- “A wise woman doesn’t ever allow herself to be a liability, but strives to always b an asset to the marriage. She looks for ways to make, save, and use money wisely. Her husband nows he is a richer man because she is his wife.”
- “A good help meet establishes a haven of rest.”
- “She will adjust to her husband’s time schedule and eating habits.”
- “She will relax and enjoy her family, instead of worrying and fretting.”
- “Most wives reading this book were trained not to honor their husbands. You were most likely trained by a mother’s example to disrespect and resent your dad. You were trained by watching your mom show displeasure at your father’s bad habits, and nothing has changed in the way you relate to your husband. It seems natural to be angry rather than to seek change for the better. It is not easy to break a well-established tradition, but it will certainly be worth the effort.”
- Proverbs 12:4
- Isaiah 33:6
Chapter 16-To Love Their Husbands
- “We were, and are, created to be help meets. Every day and every night we need to be ready to minister to his (our husbands) needs.”
- “God’s ultimate goal is for you to meet your man’s needs.”
- “God’s original intention was that a woman would spend her life helping her husband fulfill his dreams and ambitions.”
- “From the beginning, God meant for us to be a comfort, a blessing, a reward, a friend, an encouragement, and a right-hand woman.”
- “A good help meet glories in answering her husband’s needs.”
- “She learns to know his needs even before he is aware of them.”
- “She empties her mind of the cares of the world so her body can respond to him with eagerness.”
- Ephesians 5:21-33
- James 4:17
- 1 Corinthians 7:2-5; 11:9
- Genesis 18:2; 24:67
- Proverbs 30:18-19
- Song of Solomon 3:4; 22
- Romans 1:20-28
- Luke 17:2